A Little Annoyed

So I am torn. You know I mentioned this business idea that i had?  Well this happens on an annual basis. Something crosses my path , I think it could be amazing, and then I don’t do it because I am a mommy of four beautiful girls. Now thank G-d I have my children, I would not give them up for a second,even if they drive me crazy! But am I wrong for wanting to make a lot of money? Could it be that some people are better off working , than being stay at home mommies? As it is – I am never home. I’m grocery shopping, or car pooling, or just plain old running around attending to things outside the home – what I have no idea! Just stuff that needs attending to. Now – if I was working I would not have that luxury. One grocery store would have to suffice, sorry Earl – no more chasing those discounts in 5 different supermarkets!

I would also ensure a daycare on site  so Gav and Shishkebum, could be near me and could see them throughout the day.

The bottom line though – is that I think the business, which would be quite an undertaking – would make a lot of money. however the initial financial outlay would be no joke, and hence a very big commitment.

I have spoken to people who I think would want to be involved, and so far – they all are interested.  I know it is a great idea.

The other thing that is holding me back  is I am so close to Israel right now. Perhaps this has just come up as a test? How much do I really want to go? Because if I do entrench myself further here, I can’t leave 3 months later. I would have to commit to at least one year ( and that is very little for this ) but for Mics case I cannot wait to much longer with regard to schooling.

I don’t know if we will land up going, but, if I like it there over the summer, and I find schools and community there that I like, I have no reason to return.

My final answer, now that I have thought it out and written it down is………..

Wait until I go. Do nothing now. Let me see how Israel is , and then when I come back reassess everything. I could certainly take my idea there. I am just so unfamiliar with Israeli society. But I suppose I will learn.

On a completely different note, my spirited child is going to be 8 years old tomorrow! She has been planning her birthday for 6 months now! She is the type of kid that has a constant agenda! I still have not gotten her a bday pressie. I’ll tell her that we get presents on our hebrew Birthday! maybe she;ll buy that one, and i’ll just get hr something small tomorrow.

We went for Ice cream today because tomorrow she has drama –  dress rehearsal. Ice cream landed up with me yelling at her, because she was quite energetic to say the least!

I can hear the aunties yelling at me. I know – I know, I did not get Gav anything for her Bday. She did not know the difference! And yes tomorrow she will see that Mic is getting something and that Mic’s bday lasts  week almost! Well Mic is Mic, and  I don’t want ANYONE learning the same tricks.

Wis me luck. I have to say tho – she was very cute. She reminded me that I had to give her 7 kisses. ( A family tradition. The night before the bday we kiss the amount t of times  equivalent to the person’s age, and then the next day, you get the new age’s amount  of kisses)

So why am I so upset, why can’t I just be satisified. I have no idea. I have the best kids. I have  a friend right now , whose daughter is having chemo. None of this nonsense is running through her mind, She si there for her kids 24 hrs a day, in mind , body and spirit. I just want to appreciate what i have, and that I am allowed to enjoy it, and why am I not capitalising on that.

I would love hear from mom’s out there, who can relate to my dilemmas.

Thank G-d they are so, so trivial.

I am truly blessed, and i count my blessings each day, and am extremely grateful to Hashem  for my beautiful children, and my sweet life.

2 thoughts on “A Little Annoyed”

  1. Hi Cands

    Am loving your blog,smiled through the the whole thing.
    In my humble opinion I think that it is always important to try and remain present in ones life and to enjoy all the big and small things in our life.I think the restlessness that we may feel at times is part of out ability to be creative and expand ourselves,It also may take us out of our comfort zone,which is scary.
    We need to be there for others in their pain to support them,This is obvious and important but I think in reality we are always going to have “nonsense” going on in our heads its part of out make up and dont judge it, see them as just commentries on our reality and a desire to keep moving,

    Just some of my thoughts


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