sorry for my leave of absence

Hi all

Firstly I would like to thank all those of you who have inquired as to what happened to my blog. I suppose I did the unthinkable in blogland. I took some time off. I know the rules. Always something new. Always something fresh. Well, truth is ( besides my computer having been back in apple store for repairs AGAIN) I have not felt all that fresh, new and exciting.

Actually quite the opposite.

I felt quite staid and repetitive, and wondering if  I should spare my online followers with the daily grind of my life, or do I kvetch and moan – again? I chose the former and spared you all my emotional misery for a while.

I will catch you up a bit though. My business idea, as it turns out, may not quite come into fruition. Although I so badly would like a profession, and money and all the allure work has to offer, I was still racked with guilt. Perhaps my friends can do it, and keep a healthy balance. I on the other hand cannot find that balance. I fell like it would take an immense amount of time away from my kids. So I have to come to terms with the fact  that I have to be satisfied with being MOM. And, now I am. I know this sounds quite silly. But it took a friend of mine to point out (A.D. – you know who you are LOL!) in a very matter of fact way – I know she meant absolutely no harm. But she did mention that since meeting me 8 years ago, I still am the same, having all these huge big ideas, and not following through! That was a huge wake up call for me. Here I have spent a good part of 8 years worrying about what I am going to do. Wasting countless hours on-line, researching, doing, finding, brainstorming. many , many late nights. All in the name of what? Starting something – which I never started. So – hopefully now it is not too late. I see how fast 8 years have passed. For a while I am sitting tight. I am going to take pride in the fact that I CAN stay home. That I do have the luxury of being with my kids. Why the office and work and phone calls seems so much more appealing –  I have no idea. But my purpose here is to mould my babies and make sure they turn out to be the very best they can be. That I can turn around and say that I provided them with all the tools they need for life.

If one has to work – well that is a whole different story. And believe me,  I am not averse to making some money on the side, and doing things from home to possibly assuage that side of me. But instead of planning all these business, I need to channel my energies in to planning my girls. Planning activities for them, and me, to enjoy.

Forgive me if I sound like a ver iexpereinced mother of her first newborn baby. Perhaps sometimes we think that we know exactly what we need. However, I have hit my head against a brick wall now for 8 years. I finally got the message. I CAN be a stay-at-home mom – and not feel guilty!

10 thoughts on “sorry for my leave of absence”

  1. Bravo!
    I’m still struggling with this and have accepted that this will be my struggle. As i juggle to meet my needs and those of my children may hashem give us strength and clarity.


  2. Hmmm, Twas meant as a compliment…interesting how you took it. The “idea people” are the ones who eventually make things happen. You CAN be a moulder of both ideas and babies. Don’t under any circumstances give up. Maybe just Ake a hiatus for a lil


    1. I know you did not mean to slight me in any way. It just rang true for me, in ways that you could never know, because you don’t know me like that. So no offence taken. you really made me realize where my focus should be, unbeknownst to you! So glad you read the post! I am not going to hole myself up now! But I allowed myself to take the pressure off.


  3. if it makes you feel any better, i’ve been making plans, researching, working, etc. for 10 years and just had someone point out to me that i’ve gone nowhere. and my spouses nickname isn’t sugar mommy.
    good luck with the mommy thing. the main thing is to be happy and make others happy.


    1. you make me laugh out LOUD!
      Shmaya, my dad always says, aim for the stars and if u fail – u will hit the treetops. but if you aim for the treetops , and u fail, you will hit the ground.
      So you and I, shoudl continue to dream. One day things will materialize!


  4. Candy, I’m proud of you.
    Simply put…being AWARE is more than half the battle for us dreamers!
    ACCEPTANCE is the rest.
    your letter helped me realize some thhings too.
    Narrowing things down to what’s really important.
    Thank you for sharing.
    lots of love



  5. First of all, I’m commending you for your use of “staid” and “averse” in one blog post. That makes up for any blogging hiatus! Also, welcome back, take whatever breaks you need. Those of us who subscribe will be here (I’ve been lax in visiting my favorite blogs, anyways).


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