At one point in my life – I loved the mall – or rather, shopping centre, as we called it in SA. Saturdays were spent with my mom, shopping, lunching and chilling. Saturday nights meant movies and dinner with my 14 yr old friends. As I got older, and more independent, I made a lot of sound investments at many a store in many a mall. In my single days, I would languish at the make-up counters, buying $80 moisturizers, the latest mascaras and sample all the newest perfumes. The accessory section would always receive a lofty donation from me, and my shoe closet grew with every visit ( you can never have enough black shoes!).
To put it plainly, I loved the mall.
Fast forward. Married with 4 kids. Who the heck has time to shop? There are literally 6-8 days a year that I can guarantee myself going to a mall,and those are the days before any jewish holiday, when we all need a new outfit or shoes, and also at the start of a new season, I do my big shop for all the girls. The advantage to having all girls is that I have a lot of hand me downs, yet I still can’t resist the newest cutest outfits, that don’t make a huge dent, so I do buy a few new things every year, but I would not call myself an extravagant shopper. And for myself – well – for the most part of 10 years, I have been either pregnant or trying to lose the baby weight, so shopping is not such a joy for me, because most of what I buy is more due to what suits my figure at the time, and not necessarily what I would choose to wear.
To put it plainly, the mall has now become a place to run to in dire circumstances, rush through like a mad woman, buy as much as I can in one outing, and hope everything fits, so that I dont have to return for another 4 months!
Today, however, I got that good ol’ excited mall feeling! And not because I went out and spent a fortune. I went out with my two oldest girls. My 5 yr old and my 9 yr old. We went shopping! the greatest thing was that everything was less 50% or more – so we did splurge a little! But really, today I just had an amazing day with my girls, we shopped, they got ice-cream, we sat while I got a coffee, and we chatted. No-one moaned in fact we were all on same page!
My 9 year old told me that it was her best day ever! Well – truth be told – it was mine too. For the first time I realised what everyone has told me for 9 years. Time flies, enjoy them. I realized today, how big and special my darling girls are, how much I love and appreciate them. I kept thanking G-d today for blessing me with all of them. You see, I have had my fair share of trials and tribulations with pregnancy (you can read that blog here), and even though I may scream and shout some days, tear my hair out and ask myself who are these creatures that I live with, I constantly berate myself afterward, and ask myself what life would be without them. I could not even fathom. I thank you Hashem for truly blessing me. I appreciate every moment, even the moany, screaming, whiny moments – which these days sometimes seem to be marathons of moaning, and who could outdo who. Even so, a day like today happens. A glimmer of hope, and inkling into who my kids really are, and what their potential is as human beings. And then, I can sit back, on a quiet night like tonight, after I have gone to kiss all of them goodnight while they sleep, and revel in the warm fuzzy feeling that feeling of true love.