Hello old friends
Just thought I would touch base again, it has been a very long while.
I suppose spring has sprung, and I have climbed out of my hibernation. Spring spells hope and renewal, and refreshing new starts.
Winter for me was fairly non-eventful, despite a few emergency hospital visits with the baby, who is now 2 years old. But my life retained a pretty good status quo, so I shall not complain.
I feel on some days my parenting skills are ZERO, and the kids win hands down, and on others is smile internally , and pat myself on the back, knowing that I am doing a good job. But what I know for sure, is that kids are volatile, each one’s needs are so very different, and yet they manage to challenge you on levels you never thought you could go to – well in my experience anyway.
In the health department, I am happy to report that I have been working out continuously throughout the winter, and I m feeling physically stronger than ever before. It is a long process, and I can highly recommend to anyone who has stopped and started 1000 times. Exercising is definitely a way of life, a mental booster and a vitality shaper. I also have met some incredible women through the gym, and count them now amongst my good friends.
Sprirtually I think I have also crossed some rubicons. I realize that the mind is everything, that homeopathy is NOT everything, but it can help and FEAR is the mortal enemy. I have come to realize that fear is a manifestation of the yetzer harah ( evil inclination) and I am trying to figure out ways to combat that fear when it manages to sneak through the cracks in my mind. One way is to be busy, and when not busy – read. Read, read, read. But not romantic garbage, that will get you nowhere in life, beside paint picture of a relationship that will be nothing like the one you find yourself in, now or in the future. Explore books that can change your life, read a biography of a great person – see how they stumbled too, how they overcame hardship just like everybody else.
I have also started going to an online shir, given by a very brilliant friend of mine. If anyone is interested,I can highly recommend it, and you can join our weekly Skype meet. I find that the shir stays with me well into the week, and I can actually remember and retain some awesome information!
I still have my blockages. I still crave to be in Israel – even now, mores than ever actually. I am just going to continue with life as it takes me, because as I have said so many times, I am here, obviously for a reason. My time will come, until then, I will do what I can to be amongst the community, and make my life as full as possible. Thank G-d I love the people in my life, and it is just the place and weather I cannot stand. It would be terrible if it were the other way around!
So people, as the blossoms are sprouting, the mist is lifting and the sun is breaking through, lets see what exciting new beginnings will be offers to us. Maintain hope. Maintain trust. it is ALL good, no matter how we feel at the moment. Even if you feel you are in a bad situation currently, think of how you are growing as an individual. How at the end of this test – because there will be an end, you will have OVERCOME it, and you will have passed with flying colours. this will be a pivotal turning point in your life, one on which you will look back on, and actually be grateful for. it is these moments that bring out the best in us. So be strong, persevere, and know that there are people who do love and care for, and G-d is always watching…..